If you're looking for a laugh, click here to hear about my current side project.

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If you want to be assured I'm not completely one-dementional, click here to read some of my #deep poetry.

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If you were disappointed in the lack of a charming childhood anecdote on my 'about' page, click here to learn how I became the sarcastic asshole I am today.

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If you don't care about any of this shit and you'd rather look at some puppies, click here to stop wasting your time reading about me.